Search this site

COMMENCEMENTS
QUOTATIONS
BEST SPEAKERS
Business
Entertainment
Media
Arts
Sports
Science
Technology
Politics





QUOTATIONS
Funny Graduation Quotes
By Cristina Negrut

quote If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in bed with a mosquito.

- BETTE REESE

.................................................................................

quote When I was your age, we didn't have the Internet in our pants. We didn't even have the Internet not in our pants. That's how bad it was.

- RICHARD COSTOLO

.................................................................................

quote Even if you are on the right track, you wil get run over if you just sit there.

- WILL ROGERS

.................................................................................

You will find the key to success under the alarm clock.

- BENJAMIN FRANKLIN

.................................................................................


quote The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking places.

- UNKNOWN

.................................................................................


quote We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.

- OSCAR WILDE

.................................................................................


quote Success is often the result of taking a misstep in the right direction.

- AL BERNSTEIN

.................................................................................


quote Minds are like parachutes - they only function when open.

- THOMAS DEWAR

.................................................................................


quote The only place where success comes before work is in the dictionary.

- VIDAL SASSOON

.................................................................................


quote It doesn't matter that your dream came true if you spent your whole life sleeping.

- JERRY ZUCKER

.................................................................................


quote So, what’s it like in the real world? Well, the food is better, but beyond that, I don’t recommend it.

- BILL WATTERSON

.................................................................................


quote Follow your passion, stay true to yourself, never follow someonelse’s path unless you’re in the woods and you’re lost and you see a path then by all means you should follow that.

- ELLEN DEGENERES

.................................................................................


quote The unfortunate, yet truly exciting thing about your life, is that there is no core curriculum. The entire place is an elective.

- JON STEWART

.................................................................................


quote Just rembember, you can’t climb the ladder of success with your hands in your pockets

- SCHWARZENEGGER

.................................................................................


quote I just listened to that inner voice. By the way, it’s always a good move to listen to that inner voice... if it doesn’t lead to a crime

- LISA KUDROW

.................................................................................


quote Go to it. Be bold. Be true. Be kind. Rotate your tires. Don’t drink so much. There aren’t going to be enough liver transplants to go around.

- RICHARD RUSSO

.................................................................................


quote You’re going to fall down, but the world doesn’t care how many times you fall down, as long as it’s one fewer than the numbers of times you get back up.

- AARON SORKIN

.................................................................................


quote You will never have more energy or enthusiasm, hair, or brain cells than you have today.

- TOM & RAY MAGLIOZZI

.................................................................................


quote As I am becoming older, the only thing that speeds up is time.

- ALAN ALDA

.................................................................................


quote There’s few things that get you over your own crap more than working hard.

- ADAM SAVAGE

.................................................................................


quote Life is an improvisation. You have no idea what’s going to happen next and you are mostly just making things up as you go along.

- STEVEN COLBERT

.................................................................................


Sometimes, a funny quote is the most memorable and sure way to make an impression on the graduates. Use these funny and notable quotes on graduation cards or for your Facebook status. The funny graduation quotes were collected from commencencement speeches in our archive and also from other inspirational sources.

Bookmark and Share

Graduation Wisdom's Top 15 Life Rules with Inspirational Quotes »