Funny Graduation Quotes

quote If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in bed with a mosquito.

- BETTE REESE

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quote It doesn't matter that your dream came true if you spent your whole life sleeping.


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quote When I was your age, we didn't have the Internet in our pants. We didn't even have the Internet not in our pants. That's how bad it was.


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quote Even if you are on the right track, you wil get run over if you just sit there.

- WILL ROGERS

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Life has no remote. Get up and change it yourself.

- MARK A. COOPER


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You will find the key to success under the alarm clock.

- BENJAMIN FRANKLIN

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Graduation quote by jany lynch
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quote The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking places.

- UNKNOWN

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quote We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.

- OSCAR WILDE

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quote If people do not believe that mathematics is simple, it is only because they do not realize how complicated life is.

- JOHN VON NEUMANN

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quote Success is often the result of taking a misstep in the right direction.

- AL BERNSTEIN

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quote Worry is like a rocking chair: it gives you something to do but never gets you anywhere.

- ERMA BOMBECK

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quote Minds are like parachutes - they only function when open.

- THOMAS DEWAR

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quote The only place where success comes before work is in the dictionary.

- VIDAL SASSOON

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quote So long as your desire to explore is greater than your desire to not screw up, you're on the right track.


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quote So, what’s it like in the real world? Well, the food is better, but beyond that, I don’t recommend it.


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quote Follow your passion, stay true to yourself, never follow someonelse’s path unless you’re in the woods and you’re lost and you see a path then by all means you should follow that.


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quote The unfortunate, yet truly exciting thing about your life, is that there is no core curriculum. The entire place is an elective.


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quote If you think nobody care if you're alive, try missing a couple of payments.

- EARL WILSON

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quote Just rembember, you can’t climb the ladder of success with your hands in your pockets


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quote I just listened to that inner voice. By the way, it’s always a good move to listen to that inner voice... if it doesn’t lead to a crime


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quote Go to it. Be bold. Be true. Be kind. Rotate your tires. Don’t drink so much. There aren’t going to be enough liver transplants to go around.


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quote There is no elevator to success. You have to take the stairs.

- UNKNOWN

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quote You’re going to fall down, but the world doesn’t care how many times you fall down, as long as it’s one fewer than the numbers of times you get back up.


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quote You will never have more energy or enthusiasm, hair, or brain cells than you have today.

- TOM & RAY MAGLIOZZI

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quote As I am becoming older, the only thing that speeds up is time.


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quote There’s few things that get you over your own crap more than working hard.


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quote I learned many great lessons from my father, not the least of which was that you can fail at what you donít want, so you might as well take a chance on doing what you love.


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quote Life is an improvisation. You have no idea what’s going to happen next and you are mostly just making things up as you go along.


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In football we always said that the other team couldn't beat us. We had to be sure that we didn't beat ourselves. And that's what people have to do too -- make sure they don't beat themselves.


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You need a soulmate, not a cellmate.


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I did fail. Time and time again. I was too short for this or too strange for that. I even had one casting director for a movie say "he'll never work in comedy." I was taking my punches but I was in the fight. That's a metaphor of course, I highly doubt I have any ability to take an actual punch.


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Sometimes, a funny quote is the most memorable and sure way to make an impression on the graduates. Use these funny and notable quotes on graduation cards or for your Facebook status. The funny graduation quotes were collected from commencencement speeches in our archive and also from other inspirational sources.

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Funny Graduation Speeches List

 


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